Monday, May 29, 2017

Memorial Day: A Tribute to Our Fallen Soldiers

We may disagree with one another about views or may fight with one another about whose religion is right or wrong or etc, but when you are on American soil, respect the fallen soldiers who gave their lives so I and every American, white, black, Asian, Indian, Spanish; man or woman; even sexual orientation could sit down and write a blog about how they feel about their situation. Or sit in a Coffee House free without threat of being killed. Still their maybe problems in society and nothing is perfect and they still work hard.

Some are injured during their tours where scars can never repair what they have seen and many have lost a brother or sister, wife or husband, mother or father, even a friend in a line of duty. These soldiers were like every day citizens who put their lives on the line so we can be free.

We don't know where the enemy is anymore because they don't wear any uniform and hide as Trump said, but it is how society has changed. Where there is an area of grey involved in the world. I think Stan Lee covered this in his comics best as things change. So there are dangers.

Some soldiers get traumatized and some resort to criminal behavior do to war and breaking down. Often these aren't the things that are discuss with war. Soldiers go through that trauma or traumas we don't know. And it has happened throughout history. Many mean well and are honorable and they sacrificed their life just for us.

Know that when you are having that coffee from around the world think of the soldiers who paid their price. Or if you are a beach think of Normandy when the beach was stormed and the lives were lost just so we can be free. When your at a Bar or a Pub think of the places that were fought at that the soldiers lost their lives for that beer. When you get you gas for your car, think of the lives of our soldiers to.

We are not in America today without them. And we may all still not a long and we may complain at times and disagree and it is American we are allowed to fight for what we believe as our soldiers did. But we must never forget what our soldiers did to give us that right.

Many Americans just tune out the fact that we are fighting a war it is taken for granted and it is sad. Many suffer or have suffered every day. We truly don't see what is going on overseas until we see it in America.

The American Soldiers are sworn to protect not just the President even if they don't like him, but the People of the United States. And when our liberties are over stepped they will step in. That is why there are courts.

So when we celebrate today for those going to picnics or for those who are working today for us so we can have a beer or coffee, lets thank and pay tribute to those troops who laid their lives on the line for us.

Thank You

Wednesday, May 24, 2017


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Thursday, May 11, 2017

This One is on Mental Health Awareness Week

I just want to bring awareness to an issue that is dear to me. Rather we are in denial with issues, rather it runs havoc with our relationships, or it's situations that go untreated. Mental health is important to us as a whole.

I am someone who has suffered with and even have helped people with similar problems to mine. I understand both states of the illness. I am not going to go into the DSM 5 book of definitions or mention some ones that are common such as depression, schizophrenia, or bipolar which are labels, but the true battle we all face is with our perception of the world through imbalances.

This may cause us problems because of the stigma many may feel the need to self medicate their problems. And even though I have not addressed it with Marijuana and Pot it was a technique that the ancient Natives of the land used to release the stresses on the mind. Just as if they were facing their demons head on at least they felt. It gave them better perspective. For whatever reason the pharmaceuticals hide what can help your mental mind just because it is not tested. Yet they have drugs that they feed down our throats. I am not against it, but their has to be a better way for mental health.

I do agree someone who smokes shouldn't drive a vehicle, but our pressures need to be addressed and these problems need to be faced.

Right now many face problems with anxiety and it hurts because many are stressed out do to high intense jobs, many hours of work, not spending time with those they love paying bills, etc. For some smoking pot maybe a release for those problems just as many outlets. I am not even adding relationship stresses.

Either make this society uncomplicated and help people and offer what they need and people I know of my generation have stormed trying to help others with their problems because damage was left in the world. And if the World can tell a tale and is telling the story it suffers like everyone of us.

When we help the world. We help everyone of us. When we help ourselves heal we can heal one another. And we are in pain. Laughter is just one step. But there is more that needs to be done.

Pain is a predicament for all of us living in this world. It is either face it in good spirits and not alone or face it alone and not take it like many do.

We need to reach out even if we are afraid to reach, they might be the person who needs it the most.

Just be mindful of those who need help and don't just laugh all the time. They are the one's who face the biggest struggle of all.

We all go through trouble and we even see it in our President now what stress can do. We may have our views, but be mindful of the cause we face and not the views of one person who is overcome with anger. Is this what we want our world to be like. It is obvious Donald Trump has a mental health problem and it should be taken seriously and treated. He represents our country and he shows we all live under that kind of stress. I don't want to go political, but this is not political. He is one heart attack away and his job will do it to him. He is not the young Donald Trump anymore.

I started out discussing about mental health, marijuana, and Donald Trump, Three big things in the news and the views I have. And they are all related. The person in charge represents our mental state and we are all unglued at the moment to use a word from the news on Donald Trump. We have to create better system and not complicate things anymore then they are. There is a mad man in office who is just making laws because we told him that is what we want.

We created this government and system. We can also change it. Let us look out and ease things for us mental health wise.

Thursday, April 20, 2017

Object of Attraction: Part 1 of 10 A Short Story Series

A nerdy kid named Tommy in high school always was afraid to approach girls in his class. He lacked the confidence. He tells the story of many kids in high school he was picked on a lot. Tommy like a girl in particular, but he was unsure if she even noticed him. He spent most of his time playing video games and most of the time studying and reading books. He was into Science and he wanted to be a doctor.
    When kids picked on him, they called him a nerd like Luke Gallows or Karl Anderson would call someone for in WWE. Tommy was a fan of the Revenge of the Nerds series. He felt he was cool, but he might of thought that, but he wasn’t cool with the ladies. Every time he talked he stumbled his words and didn’t know what to say. Everyone picked on him and made fun of him.
    Women even made believed they liked him by telling him the story keep trying you’ll find someone, but they all laughed in his face.
    Then one day out of the blue he saw this one girl stunning and beautiful she was a ten on the scale and she paid attention him he stuttered didn’t know what to say. He was thinking ahead of himself. She started to stick up for him, but she was with someone. Her name was Sue.
    Another person grew a liking to him He was a social outcast to. He wore a ripped up leather jacket. He was just barely passing even though he was smart. He always rebelled against authority and even rebelled against his classmates. His role model was Dean Ambrose from the WWE. He didn’t like anyone getting teased or bullied and he saw Tommy constantly getting picked on and he saw he needed help with women. But he didn’t know that Tommy liked his girl and was going after her. And Tommy didn’t know that was her girl. His name is “Unstable” James Osborne. The rumor about him was he was Super Dave Osborne’s son, but no one knew he lived his life a mystery. He was from school to school and he had a thing for muscle cars.  
   One day something happened where "Unstable" James just snapped, he saw something that irritated him. He was always unstable, this day he showed it. He was pissed that Tommy got picked on again they kept putting him down and he wouldn't have it anymore. The friendship between Unstable James and Tommy started. And then James asked Tommy to take a ride in his 1975 Camaro and he picked up his girlfriend and to Tommy's surprise Unstable James girlfriend was his Object of Attraction and she followed him.
   To James surprise both Tommy and Sue knew each other. This is where the story begins.
I will keep you posted more on this 10 part series.

Tuesday, April 18, 2017

Bullying and It's Effects

Perhaps we all have gone to far. Perhaps we just go to the lengths and keep going. Yeah we joke amongst our friends. And yeah we joke with relationships and we only hurt one another and keep hurting one another because we just keep that hurt going.

Rather someone has been called weird, stupid, dumb, idiot, prick, douche, or anything and then we come across that way. Someone views us for who we truly are not and the hate keeps on coming because someone has to go through the hurt because the one who hurts, hurts more then ever. People don't know that pain and they may never and they react or even kill.

Everything in this world is filled with that hate now a days rather it is something in this world or maybe we are picked on because we are different, you know Hitler also wanted to abolish everyone who was different for what. Under his reign I or many people I know would have never been born. And they wipe out people who were different.

Imagine a world without an Albert Einstein, an Abraham Lincoln, a Steve Jobs. Imagine a world without Nikola Tesla, or a world without a George Washington or an Oprah Winfrey. Each person and more faced challenges, but had to overcome their challenges under Hitler they would not been born, under hate they would not have been born.

They were weird, they were different and we all have challenge maybe its a social problem Winston Churchill had that to. But gangs build up and put someone down and everyone is afraid to speak up because they are afraid of changing the status quo and afraid of what everyone might do. They are afraid for fear of what might happen to them. They are afraid to tell the truth for what the other may say or anything they are afraid to be honest. Sure people might say something to hurt and may have no filter, but they are honest. Shouldn't honesty be respected. And it's true we get offended and it's true we may feel hurt by all of it, but maybe we all are hurt and we are trying to find for a better tomorrow. Maybe no matter what we believe good or bad we are hoping for a better tomorrow even from our worst enemies they also hope for a better tomorrow. But no one cares we are all tied in to ourselves at times and we are all tied to dramas of those close and we may just react without knowing the truth and that is the other side of the world even us takes our hate to the extreme. We are afraid. We are afraid to truly be who we are and when we do and who we think we should be different and never are satisfied.

I remember I felt like this never satisfied, never having fun being someone to fit into the mold of others and trying to fit into the world, but I never could fit in I was different and this was prevalent. And I lived like I was different. I build myself stronger, but somewhere along the way like everyone else midlife lose sight of life, we accomplished a lot, but are we complete. We are divided more then ever before and why.

We have situation of ISIS, but we are just as bad as them, they are just more extreme. They kill, we kill. There views aren't right I don't know what is going on there I don't care to watch the news because I would have views that are not my own. Everything stems from hatred and it is war. Why do we have to fight, they are just angry and pissed at everything somewhere they were wrong and like a dictator they want to destroy everyone they got put into that role maybe they were afraid of what the others in they group would do. It is hate. And is projected on every level so where is the love.

Where is that moment of being honest and build that trust, where is that moment saying I was with someone and I cheated even when you told your partner your feeling before hand, but we are afraid we are afraid to tell the truth we are afraid to mention what maybe on our minds, for all we are all human and we would rather know who they were with if they were with someone because they would grant me that right even if they weren't happy with it. If they did they would truly love you no matter what.

There was a time last year where I had to give everything up and truly throw everything away just to see if she loved me and she did not at least she didn't love me that way. And rather I was scammed or not or in relationships where I can be considered a fool for being in online situations, I learned a lot. I know that relationships deal with pain and pain is a part of life. Pain includes abuse rather it is you or the other. We feel we are right when we maybe wrong, or we maybe right it is said wrong.

Life is full of this we truly can't be honest and when we do we are deceitful, we don't truly tell them that we love them the most when we are honest with them when we tell them our innermost feelings and of something we have done rather then finding out the hard way. Sometimes we aren't happy with the truth because we are ashamed of it and can't face the shame. We run away and don't face the truth. We face a world that is built with deceit everything is done behind someone's back and we don't have honor to let them know what we do.

Know we are human, we all are human living this world rather we are tied with anger or not, and it is normal to feel hate at times and know that it hurts us that much because we truly love no matter how hard it is. Sometimes you have to be willing to lose everything in order to regain what you want in life.

Someone I know told me about the scene in The Dark Knight Rises last year and what he had to face to heal himself before he rose above the pit he was in. We all face those pits rather we think we are on top of the world or not. Rather we are full of hate or full of love we have to face life.

I think of the movie of Invincible how the injured man did everything he could do to kill others to find one man because he believed in comic books and searched for the one. He even helped him, but he was defeated and the pain he showed had showed. They did not deserve to die for one person.

People did not deserve to die for every event because they feel they have power. But we keep on living with all the pain everyday. We are all hurting and we go through pain rather we are with someone or not. But we all search to be loved and we all search to be accepted and we may not be accepted. But we should continue to work hard for that acceptance and we should work hard to accept ourselves when no one will accept us. It hurts at times to see others go through pain even though we all are suffering now. And we have each other to go through the pain and we lean on one another. Sometimes we have to face our fears and what other say and do to has and stand up. Hate exists. And as much as people try to deny it we need to embrace it.

So let them call you weird or stupid or dum, you may have that vision to shape the world, they may knock you down to the point that you stop believing in yourself. Keep fighting. Show them who you are. Show them your true nature. Show them that you are who you aspire to be. No one is going to hold you back from your dreams and don't let them discourage you. We all settle into a life that isn't for us and we settle because we are afraid to break free when we maybe all a prisoner of that abuse all for money or for whatever reason. Why don't we all help each other and work together to get ourselves stronger. Why do we feel that we have to be torn apart and afraid to face our abusers.

I and many millions on this earth are brilliant people and we can produce the worlds wonders yet we live in poverty and some are with people who abuse them or do not care about them because of their situation and why do they face it and it isn't just the victim drama their is something more it is the abuse they may give. And we all have had our abusers. Maybe we should truly be free and take our freedom back. We can't do it alone their are groups that can help. Their are support systems and the abuse doesn't have to go on. Many fear their livelihoods because of abusive people we see this in politics and we see this at home even amongst ourselves. There is medication that can treat moods and their is a telephone number to reach out for if you have been bullied.

Bullying goes in all forms now a days from school even in adulthood and even in relationships. When we don't stand up to the oppressors and we don't stand up for people who have been picked or abused and face whatever may come, we fall ourselves and we fall for the fact that we once cared about the world, but just have give up and take out all our pain on others. I face this battle everyday and we all have. I once was angry because of constantly getting teased and picked on by friends through years. And I'm sure that will continue because others will still tease me or discourage me from who I am and maximizing my true vision and even if internally it may go against the grain and even though I maybe following others, I seek to join the pack just to lead the pack. And many of us are wounded like wolves in a battlefield. Us wolves need resurrection and we need to form again. But we need to fight like hell to be healed.

Sunday, April 9, 2017

Love is Unpredictable and the message of a few out weigh the whole

There is a saying love is never on time and that is true. One day you maybe in a pool of your own tears, another day while sleeping people will try to reach you. And another when you wake up they are not there. Love is very unpredictable. Love can keep you a prisoner, but others cling onto you like no tomorrow, but the thought of them disappear and not being there sparks a lot of emotion brought up in you.

Why am I writing about love again? I feel I have to revisit where I started with this matter a year ago before I fell and I feel it's the nature of us we keep falling because we don't know what pain the other is going through rather we try to hide it or are busy with our own hurts and pains. And we don't know the damage we do.

Some hurt is inflicted because we feel very vulnerable and rather we hide in our emotions and never show that reality. We fight everyday rather it is through our addictions to mask that pain or hurt that exists because we don't want to deal with that beast that lives inside. That beast that makes us a horrible person to the world. But if we nurture that beast amazing things will happen.

I once heard a story where a Buddhist monk found a Buddha that was hidden in clay and he chipped at it. The more he chipped and worked he thought he was damaging it, but the more he say the gold. Little did he realize it was hidden from a war that had taken place and they hid the beauty they didn't want to see any more. Until that day it was seen. and when look he saw this beautiful statue all in gold in the middle of that area.

No matter who you are you might be that gold statue and are afraid of who you are and you may have your inner beauty buried in clay. You maybe hidden in the ugliness of your outer shell. And you may want that side to never be seen because it was scared and it is wounded so that you have a bandage on it.

When the gold shows, our inner beauty shows and our true nature is released and we can truly be who we are without any fear. We can not be afraid since we are our true essence. This is forgotten at times and we start to hide, but know we shouldn't be afraid whatever challenge we face. No matter how we fall, no matter who makes us feel like crap, no matter who tries to destroy our true essence no matter what the reason.

We all have a true potential to be great, it's just some of us are buried and think we can not get what we are truly worth and this is with love, money, or anything else in life. And we settle or drown ourselves with the decay of who we once were.

Know that there is a gem of who you are, no matter who you are. And I know some have a negative mind set and are just wondering why they seem to attract what they attract. And others just attract by mood and being there.

I was down last night, I was down hard not going into detail, but if it's one thing I know change the tune of the music. Don't settle in with the crap you usually do. Change your tune.

Maybe you like your music and maybe you are not going anywhere and are attracting your situation that you usually do. Once you change your tune you change your mood and you mentally change your situation. Thinking that you can do better. Whatever you put in your mind can transform who you are.

As for the unpredictability. It is easy to fall love and it is easy to fall out of love, but the attachment is harder as I have learned. We are meant to love and be satisfied. We work through our differences and many times in relationships our needs aren't being fulfilled and we ask ourselves the hard questions is that relationship worth the fight? Do we feel our needs aren't being met and do we have what we truly want in life?

Our lives were meant to be better than it is. No matter what we face as hard as what it is. We keep on suffering with our daily lives no matter who we are, but we live through that pain. And in love or not. We all share the same predicament. Some pain is unbearable that we have to be true to ourselves no matter how bad the pain is no matter how much we don't want whatever we face.

But as the Phantoms say, "We will rise." No matter what we face, we have to truly follow our path. Not the path that someone wants us to follow. We have to go on what our instinct will follow and should there be a way if destiny guides you back so be it. And this is not just for one person, this is for all of us. Maybe there is a love that has been lost in life and maybe you feel like you are going in another direction when they feel like things are great. And you wonder why.

It is just like the wind. Your mind is like the wind, It travels the length. It touches who you want to be by your side close and you want to be by your side. This is why the people attract who they do. This is why the abused will attract the abuser. Everything offsets the balanced based on the mood. And when you can tap in to something great to show who you are without any fear anything holding you back you live and you will not be afraid to live.

And this goes to all the wars in the world and the one in Syria and Russia and the US. There is so much hate in the world that we have forgotten to love and forgotten how to be free and how to let others be free because we have our oppressors rather they are in our own town, we live with them or them hold all the fucking militaries in the world or they are our government. We have forgotten to be free and yet many of us fight for our rights and it is all over the world and when we are living in all this hate and we stick to ourselves and are in our own little worlds we have forgotten to love and we fight so hard for it that many have died in the name of love.

I am going to say this speaking my mind. Hate and negativity exists, there are many who fight just for their views because they are afraid and you know what we are all scared. We are all afraid of something. And some of us hold things in afraid to speak afraid of what they know and afraid to share with their world for criticism. And they are afraid to take a stand for what they believe in including me and we hide with our masks everyday thinking the world will be a better place and it never is. It's dark, it's cruel and it's damn well nasty and it hurts. People will take money from you, kill you, Kill a city, even kill 6 million maybe more all for what for hate because they are different and what because of this damn world faces every difference and yes we are different we should accept our differences it makes us unique and it makes the world unique.

Every time we fight a war, we fight the ghosts of ourselves and we are reminded of the pain we all once faced all in our DNA and is this all worth it. Is all worth it.

We have faced bullying and other problems and we are afraid to just stand up and we just accept it, we either just accept it, become an abuser, or just end it all which has happened. It is reality. Where is that fight. Have we given up in a world that was supposed to be better. Have we all just been waiting and letting things happen. Have we been talking and are afraid to experience love. And since we are prisoners of it hurts.

We need to rise above whatever situation. Because we are angry they are angry. Because they are angry we are angry. Why don't we create what we want and have it. Why don't we create the life we want. As someone said we are human we can make mistakes. We are not nice and haven't been we are all on this earth scarred. And We need to repair those damages. We need to heal the world. We need to care for the sick and care for our enemy and yeah we may say kill them but that is one of our loved ones dead. War is like this.

We can live in that pain or as the song says we will rise above it. I have to say the past two days I lived in pain because it choose me. And it choose us. And I know this blog will reach maybe 25 to 50 share this let it be read. Because the power of a few will outnumber the masses and when our true nature of who we are as humans is revealed. We can all heal as one.

Monday, April 3, 2017

Update for April 2017

Last month, I released the audiobook called Kindle Your Writing: Tips to Make Your Amazon Book Great. It is an audiobook on how to make your book great. I am happy to say this project is done quicker then I expected.

Also, the audiobook called The Evolution of the Squared Circle: The Production of Professional Wrestling became one of the top 100 best sellers in the Television and Video section on Amazon.

March was a good month a lot of things happened behind the scenes. Even though I have not utilized it, I am now with the Podcasting company that I have used before. I am planning on a Spring and Summer of Podcasts as I start up again. I will discuss more of this on the Update part of what I will work on in April 2017.

There are 4 quarters in the year.
  1. January through March
  2. April through June
  3. July through September
  4. October through December
This is the beginning of the Second Quarter of the year and that is April. I ask the question did I accomplish all I set out to do and have I improved on what I was doing. The answer is Yes.

I wanted to release an Audiobook on The Evolution of the Squared Circle: The Production of Professional Wrestling and I did and also released the Paperback and audiobook of Kindle Your Writing: Tips to Make Your Amazon Book Great. And even though they are not released yet, I have been working on some artwork and have been in the work of planning what they next few months will be like.

What will the Next Few Months Be Like?

I have an idea. As this company involves and I have not been at it yet. I would like to work for doing another book. I haven't decided what I want to do yet, but I will want to work on another paperback. This will be my first big writing project in a year. After I went through my growing pains last and went through a crises, I bounced back.

Last year I got sick of the process I just wanted to do blogs, but this year I want to incorporate what I learned from my life experience and apply it.

I want to do more paintings and I want to release more products as per shirts, mugs, etc. based on my artwork.

This is like the beginning of the year for me and as the time for Spring, it is the time where things grow and I plan on growing, but I need to go back to basics and work on new material and I work to nurture the old.

I may take a break from art just to do spring cleaning so look at my post from Let Go to see what I may be selling.

In away things are changing. I transformed what this company is doing. Now we are incorporating art into it so it is not just writing.

I plan on hiring two new writers in the next month or so. One for this blog and One for the other. One will discuss on the various projects I will work on concerning writing or art. The other will discuss about wrestling and art. And some roles will be TBD. But this company will grow. It has room for introducing the products you may want.

I'm also with Patreon where new artwork can be available for show there.

I have a lot of things in the works and next is a plan to get there. I am getting prepared for the 4th Quarter of the year. And even though it may not exceed to great lengths I will grow the business. And start it.

Even though this is a basic overview, I am working in reverse pretty much. I am strategizing in April through June when I should have been strategizing in January through March. But I was resting and planning on  products to release and get myself back in shape and focused as I am finding my grove again. And certain things you have to move on from and just repair which I will do. And as I said I will rebuild again as Seth Rollins has. And as you can see with Seth Rollins he is not one hundred percent, but he fought. I am not one hundred percent financially and still suffering financially, but the storm is coming to an end as I will start putting a dent in what I need to put a dent in as I rebuild.

There are many things I would like to rebuild and rebuild that is broken as we all have repairs to do. Some things may never get repaired and some you have to just let go.

April is the month to sort and prepare to clear the air and get stuff out of the way and start for a new beginning. It is a start to release what is old and begin again.

Spring is that season. As we go through our cycles. What needs to be cleared and what needs to be gone through. In the coming months this will be apparent as this season comes to fruition.

Next month I will discuss all that I have worked on and keep you posted. As for the blogs, I will keep you posted, I will post.

It will be a rebirth and a beginning of something new and it will be the birth of something great. We have survived the Winter, now its time for Spring.

Sunday, March 26, 2017

The Two Roads

Robert Frost talked about travel two roads and he walked on the road less traveled by others. However, in any road or any decision nowadays one decision or one fork in the road is not a fork, it's many forks. And it feels as if you are lost in the forest unless you know only to follow your path. Sometimes it is tough to get through at times.

Sometimes we go through these situations with jobs, love, locations, etc. And sometimes we are torn between decisions and they unfold. And we see both roads ahead of us. And sometimes in matters of relationships this is a tough thing even if nothing has happened.

We live in a Matrix of possibilities and in that Matrix we attract people in our life and it calls for our attention. It calls for us to either choose one, or if we are indulgent we choose both and it is because we truly can't decide. This relates to the differences of the worlds which I understand now.

Yesterday when hanging out I was watching a comedian talk about when the British took over India. The British guy said we are coming to take over this colony and proclaim their is one God, while the India guy said which God is that, we have many. In the stand up comedy routine, they went back and forth until they argued and then Britain then took over. I didn't see this part, but an interesting part is how they got it back with one leader. They didn't get violent and if they got violent the Indian army punished themselves by giving themselves more punishment. Eventually with acts such as this they got their freedom and the British eventually gave up because they couldn't figure out how to get what they want.

Bottom line is we don't understand each other. When one person in the relationship is saying I am the only one you should either care and make love to when in reality the other person is thinking I want to make love with many women and experience the fruits of life. They are not doing this out of disrespect, they are doing this to actually make love better with their woman or man, but a lot of times this argument takes place and it gets misconstrued.

We are loving beings and with our loving we want to be free from our prison and be able to experience. We should be free to experience the nature of love. We should be free to experience life without being a prisoner and with life we all are prisoners and we hold ourselves to old paradigms that don't work anymore and we are tearing them down by being free.

What is freedom? Freedom is being free and their is a price with it. But sometimes we may not be a prisoner of our society, but a prisoner of our own minds and we create our prisons.

We may create a relationship that seems to be like a death sentence. All because we created how horribly the situation is or we create a situation that can be paradise between the two we care about. The fact is we are torn between that decision or free depending on what we think about.

Fact is last year I created hell for myself, because deep down inside I wanted that experience. And just like I experience the situation that I face right now. It's how we attract things and situations in our life. Just like the Law of Attraction. This is why as I've heard we should do what we want to do right now and not hesitate and sometimes when we hesitate we lose.

Our situations we face deal with a choice or a Matrix of ideas and they all are calling our attention. Maybe we all don't want to be free or maybe we are free in the decision we make. Even in our relationship we can be free. Deep down we have a drive to live and when we forget to live we aren't free. Even if we give the advice that maybe wrong to others, It is our truth that we know and it is our truth that we can only share. Maybe no one knows this truth, but we learn from other truth and this helps us understand our purpose better.

All this the Two Roads we approach in life and this is how we learn in life.

Tuesday, March 21, 2017

Creating a Vision You Want

I was writing about creating a vision you want on a Facebook post today. Fact is people keep appearing in our lives for a reason and situations follow. No one will be told what to do or how to live, but a new Paradigm follows. We need to start creating our own vision in life. Perhaps we are sheltered with our lives and we may feel that we can't create that vision, but we all do it everyday. Rather it is a good vision or a bad vision. We create it. As I have created my situation because I so badly want to be free. What do I want to be free of. The suffering I inflicted on myself after leaving the relationship, but I have grown and I have come to terms and I finally am dreaming bigger and better.

Not to sound like Terri Savelle Foy, but when we dream things happen it is all a matter of our dream and what work we put into it. Just like a piece of artwork you don't know, but it forms and the vision takes form. It creates the world that we want and make it better. Freelance art is like this it starts and then it forms as the work of art builds we create what we want and we let our vision form in that artwork as beauty takes form.


We go on our vision to maybe make it what we want, ugly, bad, good or great. We can create that mind, that body we want. We can find the key to way we are here. And we don't have to be a prisoner of our situations, but why do we? We have a thought in our minds and it forms and we create illnesses, even create our greatest successes.
An idea in our head can form and we have a plan to do something, but we work on balancing ourselves, because when we are off balance the scale can be tipped both ways. This is why we both need our dark energy as well as our light energy. One energy makes us stronger and one balances it. And as I have learned, when you are in your dark energy it is not a bad thing it propels you to do better improve and do things you would not imagine, but you would have to learn from all perspective of the situation. Everything is a learning experience. We are in contracts with one another no matter how good or bad it may seem. I read a lot of this, but I understand it. But we don't have to agree with those contracts we can work on the other side and here to change them. Do we want a world with ideas where we can't see a better future. Some of us react and the world watches comments and laughs.
We have the power to do what we wish, even if there are consequences we have chosen that experience. For those in prison they have chosen that. For those who want to be free they have chosen that, We all have been granted free will and We have chosen situations even though some seemed predestined. We need to look at the Bigger Picture in this matter. And we need to create a better vision for the world. And we need to react on the lightening bolt idea that pops in our head and listen to what our emotions feel like. They will tell you if you need to change. It keeps you strong in the darkest hour and your darkest day.
I once heard we do something twice. We have an idea and then we do it. We have a plan no matter how far it takes us. And we are in the situations because we choose to be there through decisions of our past. But we work toward correcting and learning from our mistakes. This is life.
In a vision it takes time. We just have to hold onto that dream no matter what situation we are in. There is an end result. There maybe consequences, but there is a strong vision and we need to look at where we are going as a whole, but start within first.

Paintings are from the artist Joseph Evaldi
Twitter: or @passageofjoe
Feel free to comment I would love to hear your opinions.

Sunday, March 19, 2017

I'm Thinking About Writing a Blog and I wrote one on Family, Religion and being a Designated Driver

I don't know what I'm going to write for this blog so here it goes. If the first sentence goes as the rest of this goes I truly don't know where it is going and it will be a long blog. It is like the second sentence, it will even be a longer blog. If it is like the third, you are probably getting annoyed like me and wondering where this blog will go because I don't know yet.

Perhaps I am Procrastinating. Perhaps I don't even feel like doing this blog today, but I am writing for the hell of it. Perhaps I woke up and said I love my job like Triple H on Raw and decided to write, when deep down inside what I was going to write today is going to be out right crappy. And Perhaps I don't know what to write about because I don't watch the news anymore because it is all crap as the stresses in this life.

So by this time I have had some compelling meaning to my blog entry. It is now not crappy. I cut a shoot on the news. I cut a shoot on Triple H being happy about his job with a smile on his face, I even said crap. Now your thinking where is this going. What does Triple H and being happy with your job have every thing to do with the news and what will turn this crappy blog into mediocre or eventually a great blog.

When People have a boss to tell them to be "Happy about their jobs." They aren't because they want something better they don't want to settle. They want to rise above their situation. They want to excel to greatness. They want to be the movers and shakers of the world. On a small scale or even a big scale. Some don't have that plan and they come home everyday to watch what is going on wrong with the world rather is something to do with ISIS or whatever organization group, or Donald Trump, government or whoever is in office in the time. The fact is I don't like watching even though I am told I should, but I get reactive when I do. The fact is the only way to change the world is change ourselves first and when we don't and we are angry at others such as me and everyone else we have that problem show on the other side of the world.

Here is what I will say, when one person suffers, we all suffer. When we see a homeless man on the street we feel we don't want to help because we are to scared and don't want to do anything I have been there as everyone has, but that homeless man is us trying to find a way home. Some have given up and some fight. We don't know what is going on in the other side of the world and many might want to retaliate towards us for harms of the past as with life. I am not saying one way is better then the other, but we need to heal America, before we accept the worlds problems in until we can rebuild and create an environment that is ready to help. Destroying the enemy won't do much because it works as Karma, know those sins will be returned.

America is a country who has lost their sense of faith, some people have it, but it is weak. And when their is no balance, new structure need to be created and the old needs to fall. This means EVERY RELIGIOUS FAITH needs a shake up they are dying or they are killing themselves or others because they are angry. People like me lost faith in the church because we live it everyday and we don't need to be preached to about it because we live under fire everyday. We have grown up with it. We have priests pushing agendas it is not right. And we are at war.

The reason why I don't go to church any more and practice myself is because the Church doesn't practice the Jesus I know and no church does. The Jesus I know was a rebel. He broke systems down. He said why do you still practice the old ways and not change in the church. He took care of the sick when they said not to care for them. He stood up against people of authority and he challenged them. And he did it as a Peaceful Warrior as Dan Millman would say.

And the Church doesn't respect his words, they take advantage of the sick. Maybe they help sometimes, but for those who are down and suffering where are they.

Where was any church in my time of need and this goes with any church financially. And they saw me making many posts about my financial dilemma and no one was there except family and friends at time to help. And I had tithed to them before. But when people do give it to me if they do it'll be to late we will be on our feet. But my family as many have been suffered.

And it's not that. My parents have tithed all their life, but my parents and I have suffered and my brother and his family to financially and where were they to help where was anyone. All because I was suffering.

I will say when I get on my feet. I will make sure my family will get on their feet. Because my family gave their last change for me to go out and I respect them for that.

Sometimes life goes through a challenge and you have to honor that challenge no matter what it is. I was always disrespectful when I was younger. I was angry for my past. I was hurt and that hurt showed its ugly head this past year. But I know that my family cared about me.

Family will be there to, when you are bleeding they are there to bleed with you to. But sometimes you have to be stripped of the bare essentials before you can grow again. As I have.

This experience without money as angry as I have been has taught me to grow stronger. You know who you are when you drive someone to point A to point B and they are drunk and they spend $100 on alcohol and for others yet they can't even give you $5 for gas or the week when it's gone on for two weeks and they say they don't have any money when you are the designated driver. Uber or a Taxi costs more you know. I depended on that money for the week. You pay respect to the driver. I'm the one guaranteeing that you get home safe even when I hear drunk chatter in the car distracting me from doing what needs to be done on the road. You don't realize this for those who spent $100 on beer but I am responsible for your safety anything happens to you or me and I lose my license I may lose my job and I can't afford to do that. Being a designated driver I take on responsibilities and you have to respect that. I don't ask for much but give me money for the week. You know who you are.

I said I didn't know what I was going to write about I was going to write I was going to be funny, but I released and vented and I came out with some stuff I didn't know I was frustrated about.

Thank you for letting me vent in a way it has been therapeutic. I didn't know what I was going to write about, but I did an old writing exercise and it turned out to be a decent blog with content. Feel free to comment or Post I would like to here your comments. Until next time take care.

Monday, March 13, 2017

Getting Prepared for the Storm of Finance and Debt

Getting Prepared for the storm once again. No telling how bad the storm will be or what will happen. But from what I can tell about storms is I had a very bad storm that had lasted for months and this was financial. Many of us go through storms and when one area is in disconnect everything else is out of disconnect. So I have not been the same. When people ask for help financially it is not easy and as long as they have an agreement to honor their debt it is good. But the hardship when you are not prepared is even worse and this has been the calamity of my predicament for months.

And now we have a storm that is coming and is on its way. I survived the Winter and this saves me another day this storm that is coming. And I await a tax refund from the state that could help save me and get me back on track granted if they give that money that I need without delay. Even as little as it may seem this check could help me get back on my feet and I can actually rebuild after going through the fierce storms I have faced financially from July to March of this year. I have struggling and had money either taken from me or I have loaned and it has not been easy. Everyone asking me why I am broke all the time and why I have no money when I have no job. It has been humiliating to me.

People who have criticized me for angry blogs don't know what pain I went through and everything that I have overcome. They want things cookie cutted and crisp when it is a matter of the storms we all face. It is so easy to criticize someone who is posting angry stuff as I was rather then actually looking at their lives and seeing what they could fix.

This past year was very difficult for me and because I have not been financially secure and I couldn't be where I wanted to be and the angry blogs took over. For those who didn't know I was criticized heavily so I have been very secretive lately and this is a shame and this is why problems happen. When you don't trust anyone because the mistrust that was initially done to you it affects you and it burns you. And this summer wasn't the first time I was burned with money and you know who you are. That is why I set boundaries with money now. I shouldn't be taken advantage of or scammed like many now a days. And it doesn't matter if it is someone out of the country or even your best friend which I was before. I was scammed because I didn't care about myself and I was taken advantage of. As people still feel taking advantage of me and this is why I have trust issues with people and money.

Meanwhile people are able to live on their own or get whatever they want with my help. And I am still living with my parents. Had my friend might have not destroyed my self esteem that was already broken many years ago, I would have not been in this situation I was in, but I am just starting over financially and I still live with my parents and I am broke. This is the storm that I am going through.

I would have helped anyone and I still would, but who would help me financially when I am down, but my parents with a lecture, and three friends who help because I am Uber to them.

I won't forget about those people who were there for me when I was down financially. This was the nature of the list in the beginning for those who with to know. And for those who say let it go, they have to understand everyone who took something from me burned me in some kind of way. I came back asking for money for a friend who said I cant prove anything and won't give any money back because of what it was. It turns out he never was my friend, I was only used.

Money is something that should be respected. When you loan money, you should pay it back. But when we are without money, we shouldn't be left to fend for ourselves as I almost was. It goes to show you what people had care. And it goes to show with giving.

Just like there is a law of Karma, there is a Law of Money, it shall be returned to you only have faith. Money should be honored and paid back. Anyone who doesn't is dishonorable. They are very selfish. Perhaps I have been that way before to others, but that will change. There are debts that I can not honor right now because it is too much we are forever in debt and when we have little we can not get ahead. And we are forever behind.

And many of us have been taken advantage of financially, many don't have respect anymore they don't see that value and don't know what is being done. Many feel powerless and we are forever in debts of others, but debts are something that can help people on their path and know the lesson that we have to be faithful for our debts. It is easy to get the money, but it is hard to pay up. I understand the nature of credit cards. Just by lending money.

This is why we do what we have to do to be free. Financially honor the people who have helped you and be mindful of the people who haven't and lend if you can but remind them of who helped them. I know you don't want to give when you don't have money, but that is when you are demanded the most these are the life lessons that you learn along the way.

Image by Vitaly from

Thursday, March 9, 2017

It's Planting Season

I wrote on the Harvest in Fall the past two years. I am starting something new. This is going to be my annual Planting Season Blog.

Lots of snow and good weather at season creates for fertile ground. This is when we get a Spring. Spring is often the season when we have good weather, not hot, not cold. The last two years we did not get a Spring it was cold. This is in New Jersey. And the Spring felt like Winter.

This Winter it felt like it stormed and internally the weather was fertile for growth. This was the season to switch strategies and try something different and something new.

In a way I reinvented myself in a process that started in fall of last year. I went to the gym again, I worked on my artwork, I read again, I re-strategized how to make my life better then it was.

It was clear that things weren't working well in my life and I didn't have peace of mind and just as a switch that went on in the day the first seeds that I planted grew yesterday.

It may have not been with financial gain, but it was growth, growth of possibility. I know what I need to grow this year I have a feeling.

We need to continue growing and planting our seeds. We need to water those plants and flowers. The seeds need to be nurtured rather it is through mother nature or through investing the time yourself. You do your part and mother nature will take care of the rest.

Sometimes we are tested to plant something new. Sometimes we might be up against an obstacle, but when we plan how we attack or we just attack, success happens.

All of us may have lost something in our lives we are going through the winter or have gone through the winter of our life. And when we go through a rough year and Winter, we know the seeds that we planted based on strategy and studying will come and grow those crops.

Maybe you are ready to enter in a rough year and things don't seem to go all as planned, my advice is go through the storm let it prepare you for what is to come. Grow yourself build yourself stronger. Build yourself so you can wage the war and know that your time will come again that is when you start growing and learn how to grow again knowing it may not become a tree until years down the line.

Even Trees need nurturing, growing a tree is long term and like us we have bad years and good years and we all wage storms. Help nurture ourselves to make us stronger.

Planting is everything, rather we keep on growing crops for short term or planning for the long term. We come up with a plan and we work and act. Our crops won't grow with work into them. Sometimes we have to invest in ourselves like our crops and make ourselves grow. We will recover and as Seth Rollins once said We will "Redesign, Rebuild, Reclaim." It is the story of planting and it is the story of us. We need to live by that philosophy. Sometimes we will go through setbacks as Seth faces now, but we need to persevere and work hard to rebuild what has been broken again. It is a matter of growing.

And we face life with our setbacks such as Seth Rollins and we go through rough Winter where we need to rebuild again and it seems we may not grow, but know that Spring is coming and we can grow again despite being broken. And when we grow we are inspired to do more. We are inspired to live again and we have to face our fears only to grow. It is when we face our fears we live again just like Spring. Let's plant those crops. Let us grow again.

Image by Johnson Chou from

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Tuesday, February 28, 2017

Passage of Joe: Routine and Chasing the Ideal in Life

Routines are something that set the day in motion and the exit the day. Some may feel like they are victims of the day and life just happens to them as they are set in motion. I have been there before. Routines also set a strong routine on how you are going to finish the day.

Everyone of us has a unique end to our day, rather it is with or without someone. My weekday routine is different then my weekend routine. Because I go to my job on weekends and I have to prepare during the week for the weekends. The other things I enjoy are my hobbies and I do for fun. I may see little profit, but I do them for fun and I am building a strong foundation. And my foundation has grown stronger.

Listen to ""Back in the Saddle Again" Podcasting Once Again" on Spreaker.

Many feel that they should exit their passion when the going gets tough. It is this time that life tests you. Last year tested all of us. Rather it was financially, romantically, in business, etc. We faced that dilemma and while some are on top, some like me had to rediscover their roots and find out where they were coming from.

It was in the beginning of 2008, I was coming off some very bad years no need to go into detail, but I was out of control. I just wanted to hid from the world. I was disgruntled and exhausted. I worked many hours and I started to read and watch YouTube videos. I was so angry towards the end of 2008 and was heavily into the Conspiracies that I said to myself I have to strive to be like the late Dr. Wayne Dyer. I watched his PBS specials and bought his book Change Your Thoughts - Change Your Life: Living the Wisdom of the Tao.

At the time, I felt that I needed to be positive with my life and I knew the direction I needed to take. I started to read and a year later I started to write blogs. I worked on myself making myself stronger. I switched the input I put in my brain. And then I work harder then ever before. The fact is I was trying for an ideal that would never be reachable and then I realized in the middle of life to give up on the ideal and just enjoy life. And this is after a few months. My routine may change, but I am always chasing an ideal that only exists for one moment and it is that euphoria.

Well that euphoria didn't happen when I was on top, it didn't even happen when I was working on my dream. It was at Barnes and Noble because I remembered the past. And thought back to all I had accomplished.

I was always my biggest critic still today. I might have mentioned about corruption in government and business before, but the worst critic has been myself. I realize a good thing about me is I keep accomplishing because I believe their are no limits to what we can accomplish. We limit ourselves to how much we make, but we sell ourselves short. Many feel they have to sell themselves out to make it big. This is not the case. We can slowly build our dreams and then venture out and advertise to spread the word.

Many are afraid of rejection. But all of it doesn't matter when we leave this earth. All that matters is the imprint that we left one another.

We can chase an ideal that will never come or a high, or we can do a routine that will gain appreciation and rediscover the stuff we used to do and enjoy life and love again. While we have that opportunity to be there, we should arrive. Don't throw in the towel no matter how hard it gets. Tomorrow will be a battle and tomorrow will be another one. This is where we really on enjoying our routine and making life better.

Let's make life better.

Monday, February 27, 2017

Monthly Update for March 2017

It has been 4 years since my first Monthly Update. This has been away to inform the reader on where I am going and what my Company will work on. In a way this is an Anniversary in a way. And although I have no upcoming written projects as of right now. The Joseph Evaldi and Company has transformed itself. With a company that was around that fought to find an identity a company name now exists.

I will break this blog down by Giving Year 1 to what will come.

Year 1: March 2013- March 2014
On Year 1, I was learning about Amazon Kindle and I was working on A Soul Warrior's Journey and Apparitions of a Warrior my book of Poetry. I came out with how many ideas that I am not sure what would stick or not at the beginning. I was experimenting and my writing career took off.
I didn't sell all that much, but I learned the process. It was only until Year 2, I started to develop my first big success along the way.
Year 2: March 2014-March 2015
Year 2, I started blogging and then I wrote a few books on the Amazon Kindle one was called Birth Order: How the Roles of Each Sibling are Placed at Birth? This book became a Hot New release when it came out. Although I didn't enjoy this success do to working a hectic day on Black Friday at work. It was my first promotion that I ran and it was a success. I was going onto my banner year which was Year 3.
Year 3: March 2015-March 2016
Year 3 was my banner year, I plugged away with many Kindle books. I started Audiobooks. I succeed and I did good. I had things going good for me. Business wise, Relationship wise, etc. I just kept on plugging away and I kept plugging and kept doing things until I was exhausted. and I was exhausted and I was ready for my worst year, Year 4.
Year 4: March 2016-March 2017
I had some success such as art and writing blogs. But I took hits on a mental, physical, emotional, financial, and other levels. I was going through my growing pains and I took a hit. I had to find an identity or rediscover my identity on what was lost. After losing as much I accomplished a lot. I grew on my health and etc. I fought back at life and went on a rebuilding year which I am in now.
Year 5: March 2017-March 2018 (The Future Year)

Recovery is a hard thing. I have not been posting much lately. I am planning on working again on my craft of writing. There is many things I would like to write after going through what I went through or helping others learn from what I went through. Hopefully a project like this will help people get that fight for life again. A lot collapsed for me last year and a lot was my own making. I was my own worst nightmare and I made my life a living a hell.
It will be soon and in this month that I will be set free again. I have been through hell financially and it has not been easy. I will work harder and I will plug my business with advertising and all my ventures will be funded under the umbrella of the company known as Joseph Evaldi and Company. All writing and art now will be funded by me and I will grow the business and make it stronger and I will make it an asset.
I compare what I am going through to having a video game that is home and you need the money for a video game system, but you don't have the video game system so you can't play that game that you want. It creates a frustrating scenario because you heavily want to play the game, but you can't.
I relate this to my business. I can do many things, but my business is just siting there do to lack of finances. This relates to advertising.
I can advertise and this is my next step once my products are spread by word of mouth it will grow. In the meantime, I will work on my craft of art and make that business grow.
It will take time to grow, but sooner or later the words spoken or art shared will have an impact and I will be happy because everyone will be happy. 

Monday, February 13, 2017

Finding Solitude in the Worst Place and Feeling Angry

People in society want you to be peaceful and never vent your frustration. And just because we are not allowed to vent or are taught to vent we pay people to vent for us. This is backwards. So I want to tell you of a life of where I live and what I deal with on a daily basis and the world of where I live in New Jersey and the structures that are in place that cause a person to be an alcoholic, a drug addict, creating violence, a sex addict, or what ever is known in creation and in why we feel like going rogue in a society that has failed us.

I am on prescription drugs just like many trying to get by in this society and trying to live and blogging has been my outlet. It has been a way I deal with stress and with many of us. Any many who are addicted face struggles like me everyday. And we like Stone Cold said, "We will work within the stupid system." And we have done that."

Where before in the olden days, you could work and do your job, now you can get fined or put in jail if you screw up and this pressure gets to you after awhile especially if you do counseling because it is a matter of life or dead everyday. All the counselors could understand this stress. But it's not just counselors, it's the cop that had seen so much that they just give up after awhile, it's the convinence store worker who gives up after awhile and breaks down because any night a gun could be pulled on them because they are out of money and need to survive another day to survive. This is the reality and now there are infinite amount of trainings to get a job done in a short period of time. It is no wonder why many people like me are going to the weekend to the bar with friends if we are not in a relationship because life is so demanding that I live in New Jersey and it is the roughest and toughest state to live I think. It is so expensive to live and I survive on a part time job. It is not easy. And people wonder why I broke down and were concerned for me when I broke down last year. When I was trying to care for many people everyday, who was there for me when it was 4 in the morning and I was going out of my mind because I was having a nervous breakdown and I faced the risk of getting into every temptation. If it wasn't for one person at night helping me at a dinner and if it wasn't for one person who helped counsel me when I was down and I got by he took time to talk to me. He is no longer at the Menlo Park Diner from management issues and people who read this blog will know his name he is somewhere else and another waitress there had helped me to.

They were broken like me and we all are. We all try to make it and we face our addiction and problem daily and we face anxiety.

Anxiety is high now and we all face it. And we face a world where if we don't have a spiritual cause or meaning to survive whatever it is we fall and even the darkside needs to be understood. Because this society has more rules that Moses is going crazy in his grave because the amount of rules are driving him crazy. As all of us.

I think it's time to simplify things in society and breaking things down. We are just zoning out and are passing our day away because we constantly go to war every day and because we all don't vent someone vents for us and they kill.

Instead of complicated things more in society with the problems we have lets uncomplicated it. And if you don't know this The Homeland Security chart was and Organizational mess before until they attempted to simplify things. But One person now is carrying how many hats that when one falls they all fall and we have people like ISIS getting pissed off at the world doing what they do and our way of life.

I'm not for ISIS's way of life and I don't condone what they do, but us people in the US are becoming ISIS and we are creating it. In the 80's there was so much violence on TV and in the movies and war was it. and then we said that was wrong and tried to change it. Many views those people take were our views of how we portrayed them. And now they act.

We need to take responsibility for our action and we need to simplify things. I have a library of over 400 books in my room maybe 50 and downstairs. I maybe exaggerating by I have to be good at many different aspects so if my room is a mess because I am having a tough time taking care of it, but I sleep 10 hours a day because I am on medication that knocks away 2 hours of my life every day and I try to function. and I try to do one thing at a time and I do, but we all are switching as Darren Hardy says in life. And we don't have time to do everything and can't carry on from it. This is us all everyday. And this is what happens when our religion has failed us because we can't trust them any more. So more and more people are going through the system and are just being processed. It is scary.

People are just being processed now. There is no human connection. And coworkers try to help one another. But sometimes you have to be willing to create you own army of warriors to handle the problems of society and I am without an army. I need help.

Friday, January 20, 2017

It's Not Just a Donald Trump Problem, It is Us.

You can blame him, criticize him and etc, but he now works for us right now. And he has a lot of tough decisions to make. I don't think people realize what goes into being a President of the United States and Donald will face those challenges.

But I think people scapegoated Donald just for hatred. Sure Donald might have been saying some of his racist red-direct and their have been other stuff and people he has humiliated along the way. And yes he should have been more diplomatic, but we are all human and we have our prejudices. Not that it is a good thing to. And it is as if society has taken one step forward and two steps back.

But race has been an issue in the world ever since the beginning. I was happy that President Obama became President because it showed that this country was going somewhere and was going to go somewhere, but reverse discrimination took place and you could tell because some of the other race were rubbing it in that their guy won, it was hard to explain. And if you spoke up about religion, race, or anything else you would be punished with your job, etc.

We all felt this discrimination, it didn't matter what color or religion you were, we had to bury our culture and hide where we were coming from.

Our culture makes us who we are. It is everything. And I am not in proponent of fighting the Civil War or anything to do with it and don't feel we need any enemies, but I can't deny they do exist. And now their are riots in our streets.

Basically we have become a third world country. He hasn't gotten in office yet and people are destroying this country. There are proper ways to handle something you don't like and that is through petition.

Every culture should have their right to share and preserve their culture no matter what it is. We don't share our culture anymore based on beliefs our society has given and our family has given and our experiences we become prejudice and stick to our own groups.

Now you have more people showing their racist views and Donald Trump supporters isn't the only ones racist, it's the one destroying this land as we speak looting in anger in protest. There are peaceful Protests and their is one where you damage property.

Well let me tell you something, there are people who work at those jobs and depend on those jobs for a living, you don't hurt Trump you hurt those people. Unless you are malicious and don't care, there are other means of making your point heard and you can do it democratically and you can do it by making your community stronger and better. We could heal this nation if you want.

We have new technology and a new way of life ready to take hold, but to get to the promise land we could get angry and put up a fit, which I and many have or we can make changes to improve this country.

We are a country that is battered beaten broken and defeated. We are are a country that once respected when the flag was risen. Now people step and spit on it. Our country used to represent something. It used to represent that we were going to keep working to make this country better.

So what America might not be an old country like China or have had the Art History of Europe, but we are America and we have always been the land of innovation. Through sweat and tears we connected the east and west with railroads, We are the country who made tablets and Ipods a thing of the future. We brought lights and phone. We are a great country for innovation. We have had many musicians and sports and even Wrestling history making this country great.

We most all have lost everything about our society that makes it a great nation. And we need to rediscover America. Sure we have had a bad history that can't be erased and we can grow and build from here. The greatest thing about America was where people stood together for change. Martin Luther King Jr. wanted everyone to have the same rights and not by who we know or color but by their character. We haven't come this far. There still is a lot of hatred in the world and it is all in us. And no matter what side your on we all have it in us and some of us like me want to write and address this because I feel if we lose our way and go down that road and contribute to this madness, we will all be lost.

Sometimes you have to remove yourself from the situation to be stronger. Rules and Laws have been dictated and governed for along time. But it is something that is set to tear us apart and that is the division between Authority and the Citizens. We feel separate and torn in the battle. This is why we have to stand strong as a nation and we could point the finger at Donald all we want but the problem is us and unless we change from within and change and build to make our community better, we will fall a path we don't want.

Wednesday, January 18, 2017

My Inner Struggle With Mental Illness

Normally I would be talking about something that would be angry in some kind or etc, but I wish to address a problem I have been facing and have been facing for about half of my life and it is my problem with a mental illness that I have that has effected me for a span of 16 years. Through that time I covered it up or tried to cover it up with the employer, but I feel it is my best interest to explain this illness I have.

They call it Bipolar and episodes of Mania, but it is more of a mood disorder that I face. Every once in awhile I have an episode and wind up in the hospital. My mood at the time which I have no control over takes over it is as if a personality takes over. It is very angry. However, I have put myself again at risk with employers for my disability once again.

To compare this mood state it is a trip without drugs and the personality takes over. Friday I found myself as a wave overcame me and I returned to my normal state and this trip was over. I am only left with memory of what I have done, but I believe the damage was done as the damage usually is.

16 years ago after my illness started and heavily medicated I took the interest in the mental health field. And 10 years ago I was a residential counselor. This past year has been hard. I have been going through a meltdown all year especially through my breakup. I was not settled and lost a lot of money afterwards I was not making the sound decisions that I should have as mentioned in my other blog I faced a lot of turmoil that I complained with, but my biggest has been my mind and my inner struggle with my illness.

I have not been able to focus on many things and have faced pressures from everyone including the community everywhere I go I face that paranoia at least in the past few days, but as time goes by I revert to normal. I am dealing with this illness as I have been and I've endured through it in the past. Some of my biggest breakthroughs in life have happened do to my illness.

I am speaking openly know about this to help you understand the post for a few weeks and previous. When another personality takes over alot of craziness takes over. A prime example to explain this is through the personality was used with Donnie Darko in Donnie Darko. Something switched and another part of him took over and he could not control it. Sometimes this last days it could last longer Sometimes I am another person controlling the body. I don't harm, but just do damage to my persona. I realize this was the case because a switch went off and I woke up and I was back.

This illness shouldn't be taken lightly, however, everything that is real about this illness are the side effects. Just as Donnie Darko there are some gifts involved and that is the understanding of colors and the hidden messages that are sent subliminally.

It is as if we are guided spiritually and we can see the good and bad and I have been battling a lot and have endured a lot.

Understand the nature of this. The human mind and soul could pull as switch and could do damage to you based on the soul contracts we make as I've heard on a show in Gaia and they could either help us or destroy us despite what it does. However, as Rick Levine Astrologer said a Zen Master once said Good News Bad News Who is to know. This is how I take this.

Do I have to recover. I have been recovering most of my life and I still am. Do I face problems and am I worried about finances yes. But like everyone else I face my mental illness.

I give respect to Mayim Bialik Star of the The Big Bang Theory, She is open about her illness and she is in a fight for Mental Illness awareness. I have been tough on her from her posts, but I am trying to say don't be consumed with getting upset. I know I have and I see what it has done to me. We are all upset about what we are doing, but we all have to take a step back at what we are doing. I wish I took my own advice. Because I created disaster for myself this year do to my illness.

We all take on a fight in life and we all are going to fight and it might even get hostile that is why we need to take a sit back and see what is going on. Let our instinct decide our fate.

We all have to be in better standing and be able to face ourselves in the mirror and we have to be willing to stand up even if we don't want to get up because damage was left. We have to fight our fears and be free once again. We have to embrace every poor self as our high self and as the Late Debbie Ford said we have to nurture our beast and use our higher self to help our ego this is how we overcome and become whole again.

It is a lifelong process but we get stronger. Nobody is perfect on earth and we face our battle. Maybe it's time to nurture our wounded self and heal it.

I face wars internally as many of us and I am open with it now and I will boldly talk in the open about my illness. I can't live in fear of what someone might think or if someone will put me down or etc. I have had anger in the past just by dealing with people who have treated me or someone I know about their disability. But we all go through something in life and we can't give up the fight no matter how bad it is. Mayim you are not alone in the fight many fight our illnesses we just have to have the courage to face it, but not let anger get the best of us as I and many have with many of our posts. However, if you are speaking up for what you believe in we have that right. And we all need to make sure we are in the right judgement to make those decisions. I am struggling with this myself and I have learned a lot.

For those who have stayed loyal and have not left thank you I appreciate. I am like everyone else trying to make it in this world. But it is our own strength that can face the enemy from within and I will keep enduring the enemy until I one day defeat it.

Friday, January 13, 2017

My Return Post to Blogger

It feels good to be back home with Blogger. And it feels good to post on this site once again. I am happy to be back home.

Now a lot has transpired in a course of a year which nearly saw my downfall in relationships, my standings with my fan base and other forms of life such as problems with family and other things. In a span of a year I have been through hell and for some who have witnessed my fall last year on Wordpress. You witnessed it there.

And I have fallen through hell on that site and I am going to leave it all behind me on that site.

I plan on bringing back the old segments such as the Passage of Joe. Sites where I spoke of peace, inspiration, and other things. I will not be discussing anything negative on this site unless it pertains to the topic. I am moving back to this site to clean up my image and return myself to what I once was. I want to study life read again and do the things that I once did.

I face many battles last year and I am happy to return back home and I call this home. This is where I first started my writing. This is where I first started my blog and it started over 7 to 8 years ago. I have written many things and I have grown through the days.

When I was last here, it was the height of my writing career. I have always respected what being here has done for me personally on my journey.

And this is a change of attitude and a change of philosophy. And this is a message to everything I said before to everyone in the past even recently today. It is time to flip the script. I was having problems with another organization with the hell that I created so now I have new plan in mind.

This is why it is a relief to be back home. You are my grass roots Blogger. I started talking about Conspiracies and Problems way back here, but I switched my focus to inspirational topics throughout time.

We fight for what we need to fight for it is true, but we need to learn to keep the peace and be neutral at times. We could say somethings and they can be misinterpreted and we may even misinterpret stuff do as I have with a wrong frame of mind.

This is why I will promise to bring a more positive aspect to this site as to the negative one of the WordPress one I had. We all fall and we all fall apart. But being back home, I could return to the person that I once was and that is returning to the grass roots of my origins and find out if I can retrace my stage returning to where I was before.

I am grateful for returning home. I might have been through a journey there, but this will always be home for me. I have left for a year, but it is always good to return.

I promise to bring uplifting writing here on blogger. Now that my contract for WordPress has expired I am not tied to anyone and I could post where I want and I will post at home with Blogger.

I want to thank Blogger for everything you have done with my journey as a writer and I will try to return the favor and return to those memorable posts and by the time I leave here again. I will be a better person as I aspire to be. I was a different person there, but I promise I will be a better person than I was. Even if that means on taking the Swiss Philosophy of Neutrality.

Memorial Day: A Tribute to Our Fallen Soldiers

We may disagree with one another about views or may fight with one another about whose religion is right or wrong or etc, but when you are o...