Finding Solitude in the Worst Place and Feeling Angry

People in society want you to be peaceful and never vent your frustration. And just because we are not allowed to vent or are taught to vent we pay people to vent for us. This is backwards. So I want to tell you of a life of where I live and what I deal with on a daily basis and the world of where I live in New Jersey and the structures that are in place that cause a person to be an alcoholic, a drug addict, creating violence, a sex addict, or what ever is known in creation and in why we feel like going rogue in a society that has failed us.

I am on prescription drugs just like many trying to get by in this society and trying to live and blogging has been my outlet. It has been a way I deal with stress and with many of us. Any many who are addicted face struggles like me everyday. And we like Stone Cold said, "We will work within the stupid system." And we have done that."

Where before in the olden days, you could work and do your job, now you can get fined or put in jail if you screw up and this pressure gets to you after awhile especially if you do counseling because it is a matter of life or dead everyday. All the counselors could understand this stress. But it's not just counselors, it's the cop that had seen so much that they just give up after awhile, it's the convinence store worker who gives up after awhile and breaks down because any night a gun could be pulled on them because they are out of money and need to survive another day to survive. This is the reality and now there are infinite amount of trainings to get a job done in a short period of time. It is no wonder why many people like me are going to the weekend to the bar with friends if we are not in a relationship because life is so demanding that I live in New Jersey and it is the roughest and toughest state to live I think. It is so expensive to live and I survive on a part time job. It is not easy. And people wonder why I broke down and were concerned for me when I broke down last year. When I was trying to care for many people everyday, who was there for me when it was 4 in the morning and I was going out of my mind because I was having a nervous breakdown and I faced the risk of getting into every temptation. If it wasn't for one person at night helping me at a dinner and if it wasn't for one person who helped counsel me when I was down and I got by he took time to talk to me. He is no longer at the Menlo Park Diner from management issues and people who read this blog will know his name he is somewhere else and another waitress there had helped me to.

They were broken like me and we all are. We all try to make it and we face our addiction and problem daily and we face anxiety.

Anxiety is high now and we all face it. And we face a world where if we don't have a spiritual cause or meaning to survive whatever it is we fall and even the darkside needs to be understood. Because this society has more rules that Moses is going crazy in his grave because the amount of rules are driving him crazy. As all of us.

I think it's time to simplify things in society and breaking things down. We are just zoning out and are passing our day away because we constantly go to war every day and because we all don't vent someone vents for us and they kill.

Instead of complicated things more in society with the problems we have lets uncomplicated it. And if you don't know this The Homeland Security chart was and Organizational mess before until they attempted to simplify things. But One person now is carrying how many hats that when one falls they all fall and we have people like ISIS getting pissed off at the world doing what they do and our way of life.

I'm not for ISIS's way of life and I don't condone what they do, but us people in the US are becoming ISIS and we are creating it. In the 80's there was so much violence on TV and in the movies and war was it. and then we said that was wrong and tried to change it. Many views those people take were our views of how we portrayed them. And now they act.

We need to take responsibility for our action and we need to simplify things. I have a library of over 400 books in my room maybe 50 and downstairs. I maybe exaggerating by I have to be good at many different aspects so if my room is a mess because I am having a tough time taking care of it, but I sleep 10 hours a day because I am on medication that knocks away 2 hours of my life every day and I try to function. and I try to do one thing at a time and I do, but we all are switching as Darren Hardy says in life. And we don't have time to do everything and can't carry on from it. This is us all everyday. And this is what happens when our religion has failed us because we can't trust them any more. So more and more people are going through the system and are just being processed. It is scary.

People are just being processed now. There is no human connection. And coworkers try to help one another. But sometimes you have to be willing to create you own army of warriors to handle the problems of society and I am without an army. I need help.

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