My Fire Within and Bullying

     What inspires me to write or live? Well if you look at my life that was filled with tragedy I bounced back and I'm driven more then ever before. I want to first start where I was in grammer school. I was bullied like many. It wasn't physical, but it was mental. They teased me because I "was slow enough" to catch on and they ganged up on the weakest link. But I had emptiness and an aura of grief surrounding me, maybe it was from my family. I was discplined like my and feared doing the wrong thing and this made me suspect to bullying because I wouldn't do the wrong thing or feared it. I was teased by my cousin and pushed around by my brother, but this was normal I was the youngest in the group and I wasn't quick by coming up with the jokes. I remember having my wars with my cousin. But the teasing in class was bad.

     I remember one year at the end of the school year I agreed to say something bad about someone I didn't want to say but was manipulated to say it. As a result, the next day I was bombarded by the whole class who was out for blood as if I created a grave sin. I never forgot that day like many. The next year I vowed to rise above and be someone in that class and it happened.

     I graduated and went to high school and endured more bullying. This bullying wasn't physical, but there were threats and there was outnumbering and I was bullied into getting everyone at my tables lunches. It hurt me and I vowed that I would not do it again and that I would be someone by the time I graduated. And I was.

     I graduated high school went to college and a few years later I developed a mental illness and I am treated as the sick one. You believe that society masks the problem. Everyone is sick around me and I am treated with the illness. I had developed anger or rage through years that had built up through the years and finally I vented and now people were scarred of me. Maybe they were looking into the mirror and seeing themselves in it.

     I later develop a sex addiction and a gambling addiction from the emptiness I had from 3 to 4 years of mental and verbal and the rest of the years. I developed massive debt. So I did what I had to do and seek a spiritual healer. This might not be popular to many, but I needed help and the people who I could turn to the most weren't there for me and this hurt the most. So I became driven.

     And despite the struggles I faced with my job fearing if they would keep me or get rid of me and winding up with no hours do to finacial hardships I have a stronger fuel burning in me and I won't be defeated no matter how hard the Devil tries to beat me. I know God will provide.

     And I write and by my life time If I make it big as a writer I plan on speaking up against bullied and bullying takes many faces. There is physical, mental, verbal, sexual, spiritual, emotional, financial. We are bullied many ways and it's time to take our rights back and do something to change our victim status. I'm tired of being a victim and I will write many books if I have to or speak on the cause if I have to. People should say something despite the fear and I know this I didn't say something and I nearly got beat up and pushed around in the bathroom. I was to pride and it cost me emotional scars that are still healing. And I am uptight about many things and have paranoia through whatever situation I face.

     We are bullied by our parents, brothers and sisters, cousins, classmates, friends, boyfriend and girlfriend, husband and wifes, coworkers, bosses, our financial system, credit card companies, churches, our government, even the President of the United States is a bully and doesn't care for our needs. All the bullies are insecure about themselves and we need to stand up and not through a violent method, but doing a buddy system and stand up to our oppressors.

Stand up to bullying